Showing posts with label Struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Struggles. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

'Ah Lian' Girlfriend & 'Mun Jar' King

About Daddy & Mummy

At this phase of my career and in this later half of the year in particular, I'm attending back to back military courses til the end of next year. This means that my working hours are inflexible, which translate to less time for me to prepare En Xi for school or bath En Jun. Fortunately, Grandma was around to lend a helping hand, but with her age, this is an extraneous toil on her. Oct '11 also saw the most trying times for mummy as I was away for a 3 weeks overseas exercise. This would be the first time Mummy had to handle both of you (without me around) and it was a humongous task for both Mummy and Grandma.

Thereafter, its payback time for us (or me in particular), your grandparents were away for a week's vacation and we took leave to care for both of you full-time. Yes, we survived, but barely because En Xi contacted Hand Foot Mouth Disease (HFMD) and we'll talk more about this later. At this point of time, both of you might be wondering why we didn't get a helper or maid. To which, my response is that, we'd rather slog a little more for both of you, rather than having both of you grow up with the wrong values. I'm not saying that families with maids are inculcating poor values to their children, it is just a lot more harder to bring across the right values in a spoon-fed environment. Besides, we do have a helper, but she comes by once every week to help do a thorough cleaning of the house.


About En Jun

"Bo Tak Head"

Its been 6 months and how time flies, you have grown quite a bit and is looking bubbly. You are such a smiley kid and its amazing how you connect to the people around you effortlessly. Most strangers adore your infectious smile and cutesy nature, in particularly the ladies. When we have meals at the malls and you get cranky, I will never hesitate to carry you for walks and Mummy always wonder why? Go figure.

You had uneven hair growth and we decided to shave your head at the 5th month. The result was a Michelin mascot look alike, you had really roundish eyes, nose, cheek, head, fists and lots of chubby baby fats on your limbs. Quite often, people will ask if you are a girl and we always wondered why? What do you think?

In fact, you have a character of your own and have distinct different habits to your elder sister. Firstly, you are a very small drinker and is a light sleeper. You don't clock much sleep during the day and needs constant attention. You will not hesitate to cry at a whim for us to carry you in our arms. As such, you are officially the "Mun Jar King" of the family. You still wake up often in the night for feeds and leave Mummy with lots of sleepless nights. I was fortunately enough to enjoy my beauty sleep since you are on direct feed. Lastly, the pleasant surprise that struck us is that you actually enjoy bathing. You would always be all smiles and kicking up the water during bathe time. Bathe time suddenly becomes therapeutic and fun, your sister hates to bath till this day.

Crew cut look after 1 month


About En Xi

In late Sep '11, after 4 months of maternity leave, Mommy was preparing to head back for work on the next day, when you got struck with HFMD. This was a nightmare scenario for us. Firstly, Mommy had to risk the wrath of her boss and apply for another week of leave to bring En Jun to Ah-Por house, so as to minimise the risk of infecting En Jun. Logistically, it was taxing for both of us as it involves Mommy taking a cab in the morning to Ah-Por house and myself to fetch them back. Fortunately, you were cleared of HFMD after 5 days, but we had a hunch that the Doctor just wanted to play it safe by declaring you had HFMD as your fever subsided within a day.


In Dec '11, we signed you up for a week's Drama Workshop with your cousin's Shou Rui and Shou Cong. The workshop was to culminate into a play by all the children who signed up. Regrettably, HFMD struck yet again and you were out from Day 4, it was a pity you didn't get to perform with your cousins on stage. To make matters worse, you missed our annual X'mas party (since '07) with Mummy's girlfriends & hubbies. Quarantine at home for 10 days was dreadful and it almost drove me nuts. Try stopping a shark from swimming, you get what I mean. Thankfully, you recovered just in time on X'mas eve to catch 2 more parties! Hurray! Actually, thinking back, Daddy was at fault that you contacted HFMD. I knew about the spread of HFMD in school from Day 1, but chose to send you back to school after the Drama classes because I wanted some time to do up some household chores in the afternoon. It was a silly decision and uncalled for, sometime for me to ponder and reflect about.

You are 90% potty trained! All big and small business are done in the toilet bowl now and you have started sleeping without diapers with some success. You seem to be going through some regression syndrome of late, meal times are now extremely challenging and takes an hour for you to finish. I do hope this is transient because there was considerable effort in cultivating healthy eating habits and mannerism.

You have 4 books on cautionary tales. These are books to reinforce the idea of "Lying", "Over-indulgence in Eating", "Bullying" and "Bad Mannerism" is not good. Some how, you are now exhibiting or role-playing the exact bad stuff the book was trying to explain is bad. However, not all is bad, at least you are very good at saying, "Please" and "Thank You". Not too shabby for a start.

Sleeping Beauty

You are into "Princess" stuff now and Dora is now considered passe. Sleeping Beauty has also taken center stage for our pretend play and I'm your handsome prince. It is absolutely hilarious when you pretend to sleep, while waiting for your handsome prince to kiss you and wake you up. You squint your eyes uncontrollably, trying to peek at me while flashing your trademark megawatt smile across your face, showing your blushing cheeks and teeth at the same time. Its such a sight and never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Conversation between us has been interesting of late.

Daddy: Its late, let's go man.
En Xi: Dadddddddy, I'm a girl, not a boy.
Daddy: Errr, ok, let's go babe.
En Xi: Noooo, I don't like babe.
Daddy: ?????

Oh yes, you are unofficially my "Ah Lian" Girlfriend. Everything that spurts out of your mouth always starts with "Daddy, ....." this, "Daddy, ......" that. And every time, I start chatting up with Mummy in the car, you would interrupt, "Eh eh, excuse me, Daddy, Why ......, blah, blah, blah...." A peck on Mummy's cheek, would result in an instantaneous scream of disapproval from you. Oh my, its so scary, I'm really starting to get worried for your spouse in future.


Some Random Thoughts

As you can see, raising kids is no easy stuff. Browsing through my past posts, I realised that I focused too much on the negative stuff. Time to bring back the happy stuff! Please do not frown and feel uneasy about your upbringing. It is perfectly human to rant and bitch the "not-so happy" moments, that is why, it is important to remind ourselves and our loved ones of the happy memories on a regular basis.

This probably gave you a glimpse of what's inside Daddy, who is pessimistic by nature. Did this took you by surprise? I shall not reveal much, lets save this topic for our Father-Daughter-Son talk when you grow up.

Its amazing how people (mothers for some families) in the 60s and 70s can bring up 7 kids without any help. But then again, people in past was just about feeding the kids, making sure they don't cry and stay out of trouble. Problem with today, and its a self inflicted problem, is that very single thing is so competitive. Parents want to get the best that there is for their kids with so much research (non-concrete) suggesting early childhood development is key to the child's future. Like most parents, we want to make sure you succeed in life and the society is not making it any easier. When almost every single child is having classes to develop their "this and that", you just can't step back and say, "Its ok, he/she will pick up reading at a later age." Its like saying, every single kid has a computer and you refuse to give one to your child. Imagine what kind of pressures the kid will face when he/she is with his/her peers. I'm not saying we should give in to every demand, but some things, like it or not, has become the norm in the society and you can't just say, "No, you can't have it." Ok, this is going to be a long debate, my left brain is arguing with my right brain now. I shall leave this discussion as it is now.

Sibling Love

Thursday, March 17, 2011

You are 3 years and 3 months old

Its been 5 months since Daddy last blogged. Rest assured that I still care a lot about you, its just that human beings are habitual creatures. I have 'nwuah-ed' for some time now due to the relaxed pace of my work (my boss better not be reading this) and have also spend a fair amount of time on personal reading in the nights. Since you started full day child care this year, also meant going to bed and waking up earlier for Daddy and Mummy as well. Okay, I know, enough excuses, I'm just plain lazy.

About You
In preparation for your baby brother, we decided to send you to a full day child care center in 2011, so that Ah Ma can have time to take care of Di Di when he arrives in this world. You stopped your enrichment classes at YKidz in Nov 10, but your teacher, Janet was kind enough to invite you back for Xmas celebrations. For memories sake, here are some photos with your teachers and friends at the party.

Your cousins, Ri-Ann (L) & Ricole (R)


Your best pal, Audrey


Your Principal, Ms Ng Yu Kai


Your form teacher, Ms Janet


Your other teacher, Ms Jasmine


Your new school is in MindChamps Toa Payoh, no more school bus and Mummy can now (with Daddy occasionally) bring you to school daily. This is something we enjoy and cherish very much as your mood meter is in the 'happy' zone in the morning and we get your almost undivided attention in our conversations. Ye Ye fetches you from school (at times Daddy when I get an off day or 'twang' from work).

Getting really excited for your first day in MindChamps

Initial impression up til now (3 months) shows that you are happy with the new school and your form teacher, Ms Leah (your form teacher) has managed to encourage you to eat on you own confidently. Whenever Daddy and Mummy gets an opportunity to pick you up from school, we are always thrilled to hear you say, "I'm so happy today!" We never quite figure out what you are happy about as you never quite revealed when queried and is often in a hurry to showcase your classroom stuffs to us. Your potty training is still in the works, but at least you can now inform when you want to do your 'wee wee' & 'nrgh nrgh'. So that's a good start.

I'm happy to see you grow up with a great sense of humour. Albeit at times you are shy with people you don't know, we know that there's always a cheeky side of you awaiting to throw us off our chairs.

Our Continuing Struggles
Convincing you to bath seems to take an eternity and has proved to be a challenge. We are not sure how this came about. Could it be due to a/several bad experience or just plain playfulness? Seriously, we don't know and its growing to be a little concern for us as its time and energy sapping for us all in the family. It takes a good 15 min to persuade or trick you into walking into the bathroom, another 15 min to play in the bathroom and lastly 15 min again for the right choice of clothes, which naturally has to be pink in nature. We are mostly late for appointments and what follows is a frantic march to the car and frenzied drive to our place of destination. I've officially demoted Mummy to '2nd grade princess' in the family as there can be only 1 princess in the family and that's you, our spirited child. So, again, good luck to the guy who marries you, not only does he got to contend with your feisty temperament, but also your never ending time wasting antics with 'mor' here 'mor' there.

Our Travels
Before your baby brother is born and looking forward with the next vacation seems so far away, we did a short road trip to Desaru up north in 'Boleh-land'. We had a little fun with the water park and managed to visit the fire flies river trip and ostrich farm. As always, you had the most fun and was indulged with your favourite biscuits. You are still talking about the trip til today.

Getting ready for the water park


The farm worker communicating the ostriches


The ostriches eggs were huge and almost impossible to crack


Weird looking cross bred chicken that had a bad hair day


This one had a hard day at work and was soundly asleep, its not dead if you are wondering


Was this imported from Pandora in the movie Avatar?


Some Fatherly Advice
Recently, Daddy went for a church wedding and the pastor gave the newly weds 3 words, Commitment, Contentment and Consecration. While, I can relate the need for the former 2 qualities in a relationship, no offence to you if you are ever going to be a Christian, I think the last C should be Conscience instead. Why? Consecration is to be holy through a relationship with God, with a good relationship with God brings you a good relationship with your spouse. If you are not a Church go-er, this might sound 'bulls**t' to you, but think carefully, search deeper and you realise by having the same conscience (values, principles or ethics) with your spouse towards life will quite frankly provide a meaningful relationship. So, to crudely put it, to me, God in this case is but a tool for 2 person to share common values (I chose the word conscience cos it started with the letter C, but you know what I meant) in their lifes together. Whether, you are reading this when you are 15 or 25 years of age, I hope I make sense to you. With my infamous short term memory, I hope I can share with you more in future.

Love, Daddy