Thursday, July 22, 2010

Parenting

A picture taken at the Singapore Night Festival 2010 that Daddy really liked

Recently, Daddy went for a Secondary School gathering and somehow got to know a few more friends, rather than catch up with old ones.  There, Daddy met a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum) and we spoke at length on some parenting matters.  One such conversation that got Daddy thinking again was the effect of enrichment programs for kids.  Enrichment programs in the "Little Red Dot" is a BIG thing, as you will know when you grow up that Education is everything and all that matters in our country.  Some might beg to defer, but for a guy who works in the civil service and watch countless inapt superiors get a pay rise for doing half the work of what I do, this idea kind of sinks into my head.  Ok, enough ranting for now and back to the subject proper.

One of many places that Daddy and Mummy brings you to cultivate your artsy fartsy roots

I was explaining the routines of your everyday with regards to the homework in the evenings and stressing the importance to keep up or drop out.  But my new found friend opined differently and only subscribes her kids to nursery and kindergarden.  No additional enrichment programs and lets her kids play all the time and as much as they want, but of course within limits.  She said, "Kids are going to start carrying big and heavy textbooks from 7 years of age, let them have their childhood, they will learn to write and read anyway."  Wow, you better start thanking this lady when you grow up and happen to bump into her in future.  She was right in her way and I can understand that to a certain extend, while learning to pick up life skills early is important, such as writing and reading.  It is only a matter of time you will learn these skills, what's more important is to let you enjoy this process.  That is why I'll continue to read to you every night because the bonding is just great and irreplaceable for me.  You'll also be glad to know that you will be ending your enrollment to Shichida classes by the end of the year.

Ok, let's stick to play now, shall we?

Daddy was reading the New York Times and came across 2 interesting articles that might be of interest if you are a parent.  Sometimes, we wonder what we do as a parent actually helps.

Accepting That Good Parents May Plant Bad Seeds
We marvel at the resilient child who survives the most toxic parents, yet the converse — the notion that some children might be the bad seeds of more or less decent parents — is hard to take.

Computers at Home: Educational Hope vs. Teenage Reality

Researchers measuring a home computer’s educational value to a schoolchild in a low-income household are finding that test scores tend to go down, not up.



There's so much talk about filial piety these days, Daddy wonders if you will hold onto Daddy and Mummys' hands when we are old, just like we once did when you were young.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Growing up Together

My journey with En Xi for the past 2.5 years has bought quite a fair bit of reflections for myself. At times, it has led myself to question the beliefs, values and principles that I hold so truly in life, but more significantly, it has led to another level of understanding between Rei and myself.

There are times when I wonder if I'm strong enough when the going gets tough with you? Will I wobble and succumb to your bidding? Is bending backwards for the sake of complimenting one another's parenting styles the way forward? What if Mummy don't agree with Daddy? Should there be define roles and areas of scrutiny for each parent? If yes, then what happened to bringing you up as parents where couple-hood is the core and nucleus of a family? What about your speaking rights? What do you believe?

Lion or Fish? Is it even Real?

Here are 4 examples of distinctly different parenting styles:

1. 'Spicy' Tapioca Snack

The family shares a pack of spicy tapioca snack, you kept wanting to try it and kicks a big fuss over it. We can let you have it and you will understand the meaning of 'spicy' when we say 'spicy'; or just keep the pack out of sight and consume when you are out of sight.

2. Fun in the Playground

You start to walk and climb, we can continue to run behind you in case you fall; or watch from a distance and intervene where a fall can mean dire consequence.

3. Let's go Now

You refuse to walk towards the right direction and insist on moving your way. We can walk up and reason with you; or watch from a distance that is slightly out of sight to let you understand who's the boss.

4. Eat it all up

People should always finish every bit of food on your plate unless they are too full; or leave pockets and bits of rice on your plate when you are done cos it don't matter anyway.


Ultimately, the differences are what they are because of one's upbringing. The values imparted from the grandparents may or may not left an impression on the parents. The parents chose to see the positive or negative of each belief, coupled with the environment they grew up in and the type of exposure one's get, particularly in school and work is what very much defines the parent. If the parents are so different from one another, then the question is how can 2 seemingly different persons become a couple? Your guess is as good as mine, but I chose to believe that positive attracts negative, bad attracts the good, and we are together precisely because we compliment one another.