Happy Birthday, Daddy!

This is a special tribute to our Super Daddy, whose birthday falls on the last day of the year, 31 Dec. 


It's a very special day to many, as a result, he doesn't usually do a big celebration cos most of his friends are busy counting down to the new year. For me, it's especially meaningful as it's also the day that we'll review what went through the past 1 year, and pen down new resolutions together.


Thanks to the innovation of Mac, Mummy is able to put together this special project on the pretense that was suppose to be for Mei Mei's 2nd birthday. I decided it will be more meaningful to give some credit to Daddy, our unsung hero of the family.


Hopefully when I'm old and no longer nimble, En Xi will be able to carry on documenting the moments of Daddy, like how he has done it for you in this blog.

Darlin Ah Bin, hope to help you accomplish all the wishes you may have on ur birthday.

Love,
Wifey, Rei

Perth-fect Holidays 2009

Planning for this year-end trip was something we were looking forward to, as Daddy will not be able to go on leave once he starts his new posting next year. Perth was rather an unplanned decision, largely because we have heard critics that it’s not a very exciting place, and to some people “boring” is how they will describe it. We were quite skeptical initially, not much expectations I would say. However, the scenic rides and pleasant climate really took our breath away!

Day 1 – Perth City
I was earlier warned that Perth is going to be different from all the cities i have been too. Thou I was prep, I still had a culture shock when there was barely anyone on the streets when we first arrived. As most of the shops was closed by 5pm, it’s actually a common sight in Perth. We were recommended by the CAT driver (Perth's city shuttle) to visit the so-called most happening F&B outlet, Northbridge. It's a street filled with restaurants that is easily covered with in our 10mins walk. Really took a while to get used to the culture, especially when it was totally a different extreme from its neighbour Melborne.

Ratio of car to people - 2:1

Day 2 – Freemantle, Perth

Took a scenic cruise ride to Fremantle along Swan Valley River. This marks the first of our first bad news of the trip - Mei Mei fell right after taking the 1st shot of the day, bruising both her knees badly. Luckily, that didn't quite affect her mood, although Mummy's face was black black after that.

Aside from Mei Mei, Ye Ye and Ah Ma was probably the next happiest people during the trip

The bane to Mei Mei's naughtiness - FOOD

A must-visit Fish And Chips place in Fremantle

Day 3 – Albany
We started our southern road trip from Perth City, 1st stop landing at Albany. A beautiful coastal town, and famed for it’s natural formation “The Gap” and “Natural Bridge”. Mei Mei was excited as usual, and it was extremely scary to see her dashing recklessly through the stone paths.

Catch me if you can!

I'm En Xi the Explorer..follow me!

The gigantic wind mills at Albany Wind Farm was simply breathtaking too, and a real eye opener on the power of nature! We ended the day with our familiar KFC, the best meal we had in Perth. Happily getting back the car, we were greeted by the 2nd bad news of the trip; the GPS was spoilt! Daddy was totally pissed, as without GPS, it’s akin to without ipod when Mei Mei is cranky (I will come to that later). Thank god, Daddy had the foresight to rent an Avis car, the only car rental shop that can be found at Albany airport. We manage to arrange for a replacement the next day to continue our journey.

Day 4 – Pemberton
Next stop was the famous Valley of the Giants walk at Demark. As it was still raining, we didn't get to do the walk. Nonethless, Mummy insisted to take a touristy shot of the signboard so we can tell people that we "set foot" there. Happily deciding to carry on our journey, Daddy realised that the engine couldn't be started at all. Here we are, stuck at the carpark amidst the heavy downpour with no mobile network! We were even planning for the worst case scenario that we may need to camp in the car. Luckily, the park ranger came to our rescue and help to jump start our battery again.

Finally we reached Pemberton, one of our most favorite pitstops. A place characterised by it's cool climate and people there are simply so laid back and relaxed. We even feel that they seem to talk a beat slower than usual. We stayed at a real authentic cottage house, Pemberton Breakaway Cottage.

The cottage was facing a wide farmland amidst the tall karri trees, we could even see sheeps roaming on the farm. However weather hasn't been too kind to us, as it was drizzling on and off most of the time. The only regret is that we only planned for 1-nite stay, and we didn't really get to explore the inside out of the place.

The tiny pink dot on the left is Mei Mei

Visited one of the wineries, dairy factory and a lavender & berry farm. Met a super rude waitress at the berry farm, who repeatedly got our lunch orders wrong 3 TIMES and made us wait for almost an hour.

One of En Xi's reading craze - pointing to words she came across and started reciting A-Z

By this part of the trip, Mei Mei was completely out of control . She will either refused to let us carry her or cry unstoppably on the floor when we refused to give in to her demands. The only thing that could stop her was FOOD & Dora on ipod!

Ice-cream - the godsend food that can tame even the most impossible child in the world

It's mine..hwahhahwhwhahhawhah!

Dora always saves the day whenever the grouchy monster acts up

Day 5/6 - Margaret River

Cape Leeuwin, a lighthouse that is a must see destination where the Southern and Northern oceans meet. Personally, I didn't find the lighthouse particularly facinating, rather it was the strong wind that really characterize the place. I think Mei Mei was pretty amused that she was steered like a drunkard by the strong wind.

We did another farmstay cottage at Margaret River Hideaway Farm. We were truly impressed with the 5-star facility, something unexpected from the understated outlook of the property. We will definitely recommend this to anyone who's looking for a value-for-money getaway. The animal feeding sessions definitely tipped off the experience, and I bet Mei Mei felt the same too with the up close and personal sessions with some of the exotic farm animals that the owner imported.

I'm want the bigger lollipop that is up there

Unfortunately on the next day, both Mei Mei and Ye Ye was both down. Ye Ye was having terrible runs, due to the overdose of cheese that went bad (he polished almost half of it the night before). Mei Mei's flu also worsened, so she was practically drugged from medicine by now. Mummy and Daddy finally managed to take a break while she was napping and did a short drive around. Daddy finally shown the biggest smile of the day when he saw the cure to his alcoholic craving - BEER.

Mei Mei gazing at the coffee beans roaster thinking that it was the chu-chu train

Mei Mei getting quite good with posing by the end of the trip

Day 7 - Perth City

We finally bidded farewell to the picturesque Margaret River and made our way back to Perth City. The warm hospitality that we encountered during our southern journey really left an impression. I can finally appreciate why some of my friends are completely in love with Perth. It's the relaxed pace and serenity that it's almost impossible in a city jungle like Singapore.

Despite our fair share of "perils" throughout the journey, we can't agree much enough that this is indeed one of the best trips we had for so far.

Perth, we will definitely come back for you again!

The road to recovery

It's been almost a month since Mei Mei's viral saga. Things are finally back on track after a 1-week long fever.



Her intake of water was not still pathetic initially, and we have to find new ways every day to "con" her into drinking. Weirdly, she is only interested in drinking from the plastic cups from Starbucks, or the Sunkist juice bottle. Later which, we found out that her rejection for water is becos of the super-sized ulcers on the side of her cheeks. I can understand how painful it is with the constants bites by her growing molars...oouch.

It must been such a tough time on Mei Mei to have to go through so many ordeals during this time. Thankfully, Mei Mei has been a brave girl, still playful and cheeky despite that. Her appetite is recovering back to the norm recently. In fact, she is eating almost double the portion of her previous diet! She alway seems to be hungry, requesting for snacks or milk even right after a full meal. Now she is always spotted with an unusually pudgy tummy, like a little kangaroo.

She is also beginning to show-off more and more of her expanding vobabulary. Now she can articulate some of the animal pictures of the flashcards at ease. My mum used to tell me that that weeks of prolonged fever was a stage to prepare her for the next stage of growing up, and they will suddently wise up after that. I used to be doubtful of that, but I'm beginning to see some sense from her 58-years of seasoned caregiving experience.



Stay tune for more adventures when we are back from our Perth-fect trip.

A moment to think about

Came across this meaningful story from one of the many chain emails. Usually, I don't treat them seriously, often deleting them before i even go beyond the 1st para. Somehow, this caught my attention and got me thinking. Thou,it's nothing new that they are saying but I guess it's such occasional snippets that remind us about the simple things we conveniently forgot. It has inspired me to focus on my "biggies" and get my "paddles" back on track.

Hope you enjoy the read.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Fight The Relationship Drift

Warning: There’s a cruel epidemic afflicting our families, our marriages, and our friendships. It’s called the Relationship Drift.

It’s a very devious disease. It’s like some cancers. You really don’t know you have it until it’s fatal. And then it’s too late.

And then Relationship Drift becomes Relationship Dead.

The only solution is to diagnose it early.

But the symptoms of Relationship Drift are almost invisible to the naked eye.

Because you’re not really fighting each other.

There are no screaming matches. In fact, your home is quiet. Like a convent.

And there are no pots and pans flying in the air.

And there are no bloody court cases.

But little by little, your hearts move apart.

Intimacy is gone.

Joy is missing.

In marriage, sex only happens every time Haley’s comet passes planet earth.

You take each other for granted.

One day, you know the disease had run its full course because you wake up one morning not caring for the other person anymore.

Let me give you examples of the Relationship Drift:

The father who doesn’t have heart-to-heart conversations with his kids anymore. Or the wife who doesn’t enjoy her husband’s company anymore. Or a couple who talk to each other functionally, not deeply. Or siblings who no longer laugh together, play

together, and eat together.

Here’s why: We live in a busy world.

Where bills need to be paid.

And cars need to be repaired.

And kids need to be fed, vaccinated, and neutered, er, I mean nurtured. (I know of parents who want to administer this little medical procedure to their kids when puberty comes along.)

My point? It’s natural that you drift apart.

You don’t have to be a bad person. You don’t have to be Adolf Hitler or The Joker. You don’t have to be obnoxious, selfish, or evil to cause the disease called Relationship Drift.

Let me give you an analogy.

Two people in a relationship are like two little boats floating on the sea.

Problem: There’s a current that will slowly pull the two boats apart. Before they know it, the two boats are miles away from each other.

Friend, there’s really only one way to fight the drift: Paddle!

If you don’t want to drift, you’ll have to go against the flow and paddle your way to each other. You’ll have to work hard, muscle your way, sweat like crazy and fight to be together.

I believe that the only antidote to Relationship Drift is to bond constantly.

If you don’t, the effects can be disastrous…

When We Don’t Fight Relationship Drift

In a previous article, I already shared these statistics from David Perdew.

David Perdew wrote this about “fatherless kids” in America. According to statistics, children from a fatherless home are:

· Five times more likely to commit suicide

· Thirty-two times more likely to run away

· Twenty times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· Fourteen times more likely to commit rape (this applies to boys)

· Nine times more likely to drop out of high school

· Ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances

· Nine times more likely to end up in a charitable institution

· Twenty times more likely to end up in prison for a long period of time

David Perdew says we either pay now or pay later.

And when you pay later, it always costs more.

My suggestion is to pay now.

Fighting the Relationship Drift is very difficult. But it’s easier paying now than paying later.

Here’s how to do it.

Time Management Isn’t The Answer

Do you want to spend more time with your family?

Time Management is not the solution.

I know a company who charges $759 per person for their Time Management Seminar. Let me save you $759 right now and tell you it doesn’t work.

These guys will teach you how to become experts in multi-tasking.

While you shave, mentally plan for your day.

While you drive, record your things-to-do in an MP3 recorder.

While sitting on the throne of life, make your phone calls.

While talking with your boss, floss your teeth.

I don’t believe in any of that.

Though I must admit, I’m guilty trying all of them.

Except for the flossing. (I don’t have a Boss.)

And believe me, these things don’t give you more time.

Worse, they take away your peace.

Here’s a principle you can take to the bank: Anything that takes away your peace won’t work in the long run.

Instead of Time Management, I teach people Biggies Management.

What Are Your Biggies?

If you really think about it, you can put everything happening in your life into two categories: Biggies and Smallies.

If you manage your Biggies, you manage your life.

It’s the secret to great success.

What are your Biggies?

People who don’t know their Biggies will be ruled by their Smallies. They’ll be lost boats in the sea, being pushed and pulled in various directions.

Your Biggies consists of the 4 most important parts of your life:

1. Your Family

2. Your Health

3. Your Mission

4. Your Spirit

Everything else are Smallies.

If you want to be successful, focus on your Biggies.

When you make your Weekly Schedule, write down the Biggies first.

Each of these Biggies can be broken down. But today, I’d like to share with you the Family Biggies that you need to do. These are the powerful ways to paddle against Relationship Drift.

Are you ready?

Create A List Of Untouchables

My romantic date with my wife is an Untouchable.

I told her that we’d have a romantic date every Tuesday night unless these three things happen:

1) President Obama calls up to consult me on high-level issues such as terrorism, global warming, and nuclear disarmament; or…

2) The Pope calls me to discuss some murky theological question that only I can answer (like “Did Adam have a belly button?”), or…

3) If a comet rams into earth, burning the entire planet’s atmosphere, and human life as we know it ceases to exist.

Aside from those three scenarios, nothing can touch my date with her.

Seriously, there are weeks when I’m travelling and we can’t date. But I see to it that when I fly back home, the first thing I do is spend a day with my wife and two boys.

Frankly, I love my romantic dates with my wife. She’s my emotional home. She relaxes me. (Okay, I confess that one time, I was so relaxed I dozed off when she was still talking.)

My weekly date with my 2 boys is an Untouchable too.

So is my twice-a-month lunch with my mother.

And twice-a month dinners with my extended families.

I also have regular dates with my Friends. (We call them Caring Groups in my spiritual family, Light of Jesus.)

Friend, the only way to paddle against Relationship Drift is to create your list of Untouchables.

But before you invite your kids to a date, let me tell you how not to do it.

How To Have Dates With Your Kids

One day, a teen-age boy approached me and said, “Brother Bo, can you please tell my father to stop having dates with me? I think he got the idea from you.”

I later learned what his father did last week.

First, he invited his son to have a burger. But the moment they sat down in the restaurant, the father said, “Son, I want to talk to you about your poor grades.”

After a mini-sermon on “study well because I work so hard to pay for your studies,” the father jumps to another sensitive topic. “Your music tastes are terrible,” he said to the lad, “It’s loud, noisy, and disgusting. I think you should listen more to classical music.”

The father goes on to other topics, such as the length of his hair, the late night phone calls, and the obscene amount of time he spends playing computer games.

Poor kid. He didn’t know what was coming that day. He didn’t realize he was attending a multi-track conference.

After their meal, the father told him, “Son, I enjoyed our date. Let’s do this weekly!”

His son must have had an epileptic seizure right there. Can you imagine going through this torture for the rest of his teen-age life? That’s when the boy asked me to rescue him from a life of purgatory.

So I called the father and said, “Parental sermons, homilies, lectures, and full-scale multi-track conferences are banned from your dates.”

“Why?” the father asked.

“Because the date isn’t for you,” I said. “It’s for your son. You don’t have to enjoy it as long as he does.” I told him, “Play billiards. Play bowling. Go fishing. Ride bikes together. Anything your boy wants to do.”

Let me explain why this is essential.

When the relationship is close, kids listen. Their hearts are supple and open.

But when there’s already a Relationship Drift between the parents and the kids, their hearts are far apart. So no matter how much the parents shout, their kids don’t hear the message.

So the first goal is to bring your hearts close to each other.

How To Bond As A Family

Another Untouchable you need to create is a Weekly Family night.

The goal is to do something fun together.

Rent a movie and cook popcorn for a family movie night at home.

Or take a Family Walk around the village.

Or play a game together. Monopoly. Pictionary. Patintero.

Or read a book out loud.

Or just order pizza and ask everyone to share around the table.

When you do this each week, you’re creating memories that will last a lifetime. Life is about moments. And believe me, your grown-up kids will never forget these special bonding moments as a family. It will be their anchor. It will be their source of emotional

stability. That amidst the sea of change around them, they know there are just some things in life that don’t change.

Like the memories of being together as family.

Here’s one more tip before I end.

Invite Your Kids’ Friends To Hang Out At Home

You’ve got to be the cool Mom and Dad–Even if you’re not.

How? Make your home the preferred hang-out place for your kids’ friends.

I know it’ll cause a little dent on your budget.

Okay, I lied. It will make your life savings disappear.

A group of teens are like a pack of piranha. They will eat anything that looks like food in your kitchen cabinets. And if your kids come home all tired and sweaty from a basketball game, be forewarned. That is a perfect storm. You will become poor

overnight. You can buy all the food in your city and it won’t be enough. They’ll just burp and ask for more.

But the rewards are incredible.

First, you’re with your kids more.

Second, you know where your kids are.

Third, you get to know their friends—and counsel the troubled ones. If they lack parenting, you can re-parent them. (I’m sharing you a powerful secret: One of the best ways of influencing your kids is to influence their friends.)

Fourth, because of all racket your guests make, you and your neighbors will not be in speaking terms. So that’s one or two people dropped from your Christmas shopping list. Savings!

Two Choices: Drift Or Paddle

I can hear you now.

“Bo, this is a lot of hard work! Weekly dates with my wife and kids? Feeding a pack of piranhas? And re-parenting the friends of my kids? My gosh!”

I warned you. It’s going to be rough.

But let me repeat what I said at the start: You really only have two choices in life. You either Drift or you Paddle. You either pay now or pay later.

I’ve decided to paddle. I’ve decided to pay now.

Believe me, I’m enjoying the benefits.

My relationships are deeply satisfying.

Friend, it’s your turn.

Start paddling.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Noooh, No wan, No need.

My poor little darling got ill. It started out with a little cough and runny nose, before it developed into high fever. Medication from the GP did not work and we bought you to KK Hospital “A&E” twice over the weekend. Like all kids, going through a “big time” illness is like a rite of passage. It breaks my heart to see you like this. You never had problems eating, drinking or taking medication. But after looking at your arsenal of prescription, no prizes for guessing how you are coping.


Now, the presence of Daddy holding onto a syringe is enough to set you off crying. Your piercing screams from medicine time has somewhat worried our neighbours as well, whom had been asking if you are doing okay. Most worrying is your refusal to drink water. This illness has obviously taken toil on you, you seem to weight half a kg lighter and the chubby-ness around your arms and bottom seems gone.

The only consolation is that your cheeks are as rosy and fluffy as ever, which means you are still ever adorable. Going through this dreadful period with you, also meant going back to basics. When you were an infant, we had to track your body temperature and the amount of times you ‘pooh’.

Daddy and Mommy hope you get well soon and your friends in school miss you too. Meanwhile, Mommy will be indulging you by showering you with endless “Dora themed” accessories.

Let's play catch up

It's Daddy's turn to pen down some thoughts.

After revisiting my new year's resolution yet again and scrolling through the archives; Daddy must say that he has not been a good man. This year's entries are definitely less than the previous and after a thorough investigation, it only leads to one conclusion. Daddy is a facebook addict. To be exact, a Mafia Wars addict. Its silly because the game is in fact totally crappy, non conclusive and is not all that thrilling, but for some reason, Daddy sees the need to play it every now and then. Maybe Mummy should send Daddy to China for some technology cold turkey or something of sorts.

Anyways. Reading through the archives also made Daddy realise that you may not really understand the growing milestones in your life, since we hardly chart it in this blog. Somehow, I felt that we should rename this blog into enxi-parents.blogspot.com instead. While its important for you to know what we think, I think it is equally, if not more importantly for you to know your growing pains.

Let's play catch up then. We went to Phuket with Mummy's family 3 months ago. It was not the typical Phuket kind of trip, but more of a exclusive resort type with Mariotts. We had a great time cos (1) there's hardly anybody around, therefore we gotta use most of the resort facilities; and (2) its cheap cos your uncle got a great deal for all of us at a promotional rate.

Let's party with booze.

Mummy's papa trying very hard to look cool.

We went to the Dora show (free) at CIA. Not too sure, you were more happy watching the show or running around the vast open space or pretending to be a tourist.

Nonetheless, Daddy thinks your love for Dora has gone to a whole new level, where you could actually kiss and hug Dora more willingly than to me. Work for me has also being hectic of recent, which meant less bonding time between us. Daddy thinks that it has taken a toil on our relationship. Somehow, all the bonding that we had build up in the first 16 months has been slowing “slipping” away. So remember this when you have your own kids “When they are young, bonding is about quantity first before quality”. Lately, Daddy took some time off from work to send and pick you up from school, bathing and feeding you, playing with you and reading more as well. Things kindda improved and I'm glad.

Taking sharp and crisp photos of you proved to be difficult cos you never sits still. Coupled with the fact that I had to take my pictures in low light conditions only made it worst. Trying to bump up the ISO on lead to more grainy pictures. Opps, too technical, but you will get to it, just click here. Anyway, Daddy thinks Grandpa and Grandma are very happy with their grandkids in their toll.

Yupe, before Daddy forgets, some milestones between 16 to 19 months without elaboration.

1. Its extremely difficult to feed you and somehow you are bullying Daddy and Mummy when we feed you cos Grandma never seems to have any problems feeding you.

2. You are able to feed yourself, albeit a little messy.

3. You like to try different and new kind of food and will reject food that has been prepared too often with a firm 'No'.

4. Your speech has improved, but limited to singing rather than communicating with us.

That's about it for now. Yah and one more thing, Mummy is going for a DSLR Photography class and will be joining Daddy in capturing more of our happy moments.

Happy Teachers' Day!

We wanted to prepare a small gift of appreciation for this meaningful day, as we are really grateful for Ms Yu Kai and her team for their great guidance to Mei Mei. Having seen the painting works that Mei Mei has done at school, I was inspired to use that as the theme of the greeting card.

Marking the 1^st try with Mei Mei in painting, I was determined to document the whole process of this inaugural experience. I was visualizing how endearing it will be painting with Mei Mei and capturing the steps of preparation in Daddy’s picture perfect DSLR cam.

Here’s what Mummy was envisioning for the pixs: Mei Mei sharing a laugh with Mummy while painting happily away on the card. Mei Mei will patiently try out the different palettes of color and looking amazed with the output of her artistry talents. Finally the blissful scene will be complete with a grin to grin pose with the finished masterpiece.

In reality, that didn’t really happen :(

Mei Mei refused to sit still, and more interested in painting her whole hands than the canvass. We spent most of the time trying to stop her from planting her colored hands on the table and sofa. From what I thought was just a simple art and craft session turns out to almost a vandalizing disaster. I’m bewildered by how her teachers manage to do that (as I was told that she totally loved it whenever there are painting lessons!!). Instead of the original plan to design 3 cards, we decided to throw the white flag at the end of the 1^st card.

Focusing hard when she first started..

And started to paint the table than the card.

Somehow figure out that her fat little fingers will be more fun than using the brush

Finally added the finishing touch with her Hello Kitty stickers

We will definitely try painting again, but probably the next time, it might be more suitable to move it to the corridor I guess?